Chaos!

Today has just been one of those days that you want to climb back into bed & pull the covers over your head! Andy is off playing golf with his brothers, so I have been trying to get things done around the house. The boys got new bunk beds this week, so I'm putting away all the crib bedding to make room for the big boy bed stuff. :) Matthew & Ryan were watching Toy Story, Matthew's new obsession. To make a long story short, I walked in to check on them, and the horror was just too much to handle!!! Matthew had taken off his poopy underwear and smeared it all over EVERYTHING! Let me just clarify everything......himself, the extra bed, his Elmo chair, his Cars couch and the carpet!!! As I calmly tried to assess the situation and decided that it was just to overwhelming. I tried talking to him trying to make him understand what he had done and that he needed to tell mommy that he needed to go potty. He just gave me a blank stare. I tried to get him to look into my eyes, so he could see that I was not happy. He just didn't get it. I let my frustration get the best of me & started yelling at him.....which I knew wouldn't accomplish anything, but DAMN IT......sometimes I just don't know what to do! This is an daily ordeal & I just want to know how to help him 'get it'. The only time he showed any time of emotion was when I had to throw away his Elmo chair & Cars couch. Then I read my friend, Julie's blog about cherishing & teaching our children through our own actions. I knew that I need to go find Matthew and try to calmly explain to why he cannot take of his underwear and smear poop everywhere. AND THIS IS WHAT I FOUND IN THE CLOSET:

How can I be mad at a face like that!:) I just goes to prove that no matter how mad, frustrated, angry or upset I am, I am blessed with 2 wonderful boys! Sometimes I wonder to myself why? why do I have a child with autism? A child that usually cannot tell the difference between right or wrong, a child that cannot decipher if mommy is happy or sad by the look on her face, a child that doesn't understand the dangers around him. THEN I realize that I have been chosen to teach and guide Matthew through life to the best of my ability. I have my good days and my bad days, but I feel blessed in so many other ways.